Mother's Day With My Kids

Today was about the nicest Mother's Day anyone in my position could ask for. I continue to feel better and heal every day, and moving around is much easier. Every time I visited the NICU today, I walked down there on my own. I got to have breakfast in bed this morning...courtesy of hospital cafeteria room service! This morning Mike and I were able to be involved in Ryan's "cares" - Mike assisted in taking his temperature (easier said than done...he kept punching his little arm around), and I was able to change his diaper. It felt good to be able to do something to help him. We also listened in on rounds as the neonatologist, nurses, and neonatal nurse practitioner discussed his plan of care for the day. They are feeding him a little breast milk with a syringe and tube and trying to reduce his oxygen when he is showing signs of improvement. We asked if we'd be able to hold him and were told to return at 6pm when they'd have him out to weigh him.

Ryan greeted me at 6 with a poopy diaper. After I helped to change him, our nurse handed him over, tubes and all, so I could have a little skin-to-skin time with him snuggling on my chest. Best Mother's Day gift of all! It was only the third time I've held him. He settled and rested calmly, they were able to turn down his oxygen a bit and his oxygen saturation levels rose to 100%. Even Laura was interested in getting a little closer to her brother and talking to hima bit. Reluctantly, I handed Ryan off to daddy and he continued to do a great job. We were able to take a lot of pictures and we all look so happy to be holding him and seeing our son doing so well. I am one content mother tonight; it's amazing how much better that moment made me feel. My other sweet child picked out a pink flower with a purple ribbon at church today for me. I miss all the fun and love I get from Laura, and so we did spend some time tonight snuggling in my hospital bed ("Can I push the buttons, mom?"). It will be good to be at home a bit starting tomorrow and feel like I am "mothering" her once again, although her daddy-o and grandparents have been doing a wonderful job taking care of her.

Ryan's Birthday and Birth Story, May 10, 2012

Needless to say, we were not expecting to have a baby on May 10 or any time close to that date!  I went to bed on Wednesday night with no signs something was coming...didn't feel strange, wasn't nesting like crazy, it was just a normal night.  Mike and I watched some tv together and went to bed sort of late.  We had been sleeping maybe about an hour, and I woke up at 12:30 a.m. to my water breaking.  This never happened with Laura, so that was something new...but I was pretty sure about what was going on.  Poor Mike was all confused; he thought it was morning and we had overslept our alarms.  NOTHING was ready - although I had made a list of what I wanted to pack for the hospital.  So I called in to the doctor and started to pack up, and Mike called his parents to come over.  We were pretty nonchalant about getting to the hospital, both taking showers, trying to get everything in order.  I wasn't having any contractions so I wasn't too worried about rushing.

Before we left, I was pretty sad about Laura.  We hadn't really had any sort of a remarkable night the night before, and I was feeling bad that we hadn't really had a special last night as a family of three.  When I came back home, she wasn't going to be my baby anymore.  It was hard to leave her.  I did ask Mike to take some pictures of me before we headed out, since we hardly took any "belly pictures" the way we did when I was pregnant with Laura.  By this time it was 2 a.m., and we made good time getting to the hospital.  

Once we arrived at labor and delivery, I changed into my lovely hospital gown and was hooked up to monitors (this felt like routine since I had done this twice previously in the last couple of months).  They had to do some checks to verify that I was indeed in labor, and then the whole process could start to move along.  I asked the nurse how soon they might start the c-section, and she told us an hour!  This kind of freaked us out a bit...3 hours ago we thought the baby was 3 weeks away, and now we'll be meeting our baby in an hour?!  However, an emergency appendectomy took priority and we ended up having to wait a while.  My contractions were becoming more noticeable and I was nervous that they would start getting really painful before they could get me in to surgery and do the spinal block.  They stayed under control, and a little after 6 a.m., I was wheeled down to the O.R.

Mike had to leave me at that point to wait for a while, and I did start crying and worrying that things would not go well.  I really don't remember anything about the prep for the procedure when I had Laura, so I didn't feel like I knew what to expect.  The surgeon was not the OB that we had scheduled, but I liked her and she turned out to be just fine, so that was a relief.  There was some really twangy country music on in the O.R. when she came in, and she told them they were going to have to change the music because that just wasn't going to work!  The anesthesiologist did the spinal block, they put up the drape, and started the procedure all before Mike came in.  I felt much better once he was there, although the effects of the block were weird and I was feeling numb all up my back and into my face.  The process is so strange because you know they are cutting you open but you can't feel a thing.  Finally, they were ready to pull the baby out at 6:34 a.m.  Just like last time, they let Mike tell me the news, and this time we found out we were parents of a son!

I don't think either of us were very surprised; we were both kind of thinking that's what he would be.  They asked right away if we had a name for him, and we told them it was Ryan.  I couldn't see them checking Ryan over but I do remember that he was rather quiet - even though he cried, it wasn't much.  At some point later on in the morning a nurse said he scored a 7 on the Apgar test.  He was 20.5 inches long and weighed 6 lbs., 15 oz.  Mike brought him over for me to take a look after they were done cleaning him up and checking him out.  I don't remember at all how we got back up to labor & delivery or how Ryan got there, but we spent some time in there waiting to get transferred to our room.

The three of us had some quiet time alone in the room and we both had turns to hold Ryan.  He made this little grunting noise almost constantly, but it sounded just like a little baby noise and we weren't too worried about it.  After a while, both a neonatal nurse practitioner and my doctor came by to take a look at Ryan.  They talked about how "wet" his lungs sounded and they were concerned about the grunting noise.  Rather than getting us to our new room, they decided it would be best to have Ryan checked out and monitored for a short time in the NICU.  They wheeled me all the way down there in the bed, and showed us how they were going to hook Ryan up to some monitors.  We left him down there and headed up to my new room to get some rest, since we really hadn't slept at all the night before.

Mike and I both took naps, and by the middle of the afternoon I was a little perplexed that we hadn't heard from anyone in the NICU about how Ryan was doing.  I called down there and they said that we could come down and see him.  Mike went down right away and I was able to head down a while later when a nurse was able to wheel me down.  As soon as I got into Ryan's NICU room, I could tell things weren't right.  Mike looked really serious and told me that things were much worse than they had presented to us in the morning.  We were baffled because it was presented to us as a quick check and nothing to worry about when we left Ryan there, and now all of a sudden they were telling us we'd probably be leaving the hospital without our baby.  A chest x-ray showed a lot of fluid in his lungs, and also that his lungs were either underdeveloped or he had an infection.  He had all sorts of wires and sensors attached to him, as well as a CPAP mask that covered much of his face.  This was scary and not at all what we expected.

Later on in the day, Mike's parents brought Laura to the hospital to meet her brother.  We knew it wasn't going to be the way we had imagined, but tried to explain to her that Ryan was sick and he had some machines to help him breathe.  She was interested to see him, but scared by his mask and all the equipment. Laura was still proud to be a "big sister," and as Papa George & Grandma Nels, Grandma Barb & Bapa, Mike, Kaitlin, and Matt came to visit, she was excited to show them "her baby."  Instead of being able to hold Ryan, all our visitors could do was look at him in the dark room as his monitors beeped away.  We went to bed that night wondering what the next few days would bring.

Laura is 3 Years and 1 Month!

I am SO BEHIND on these updates...I did save a post to do for Laura's 3rd birthday, you'll have to look for that retroactively.

Weight: ALMOST 27 pounds, yes, the same weight as some one-year-olds

Likes: Dancing w/special clothes on (purple and pink dress, pink sparkly shoes...this is the "ballerina outfit"), board games (esp. Candy Land), candy, Disney Princesses - in particular, Rapunzel, playing outside, wearing her bike helmet, red & blue "smoothies" from Target (aka Icees), helping with washing dishes/unloading dishwasher/baking, thinking of rhyming words or answering riddles at bedtime, having a braid in her hair, the colors pink and purple

Dislikes: Daddy teasing her, not being the first one to the castle in Candy Land (or losing a game in general...gee, wonder who she gets that from?), not getting a say in decisions

New skills: No longer sitting in her high chair for meals, counting to 20 (although she consistently skips 15 for whatever reason), naming most letters/sounds and some numbers, putting on and taking off her own clothes, using the big potty rather than the potty chair

Test Results

This is to reassure the nervous "mother hens" out there; no bad news today! I did finally get word today that Friday's echocardiogram showed good results, there were no problems that they could see with my heart.

In order to make sure everything was still fine and I think also to make me feel more reassured, my doctor sent me over to the hospital again tonight just to do many of the same things they did to check the baby and myself 2 weeks ago. They drew blood to check my thyroid, did another fetal fibronectin test (checks to see if you are at risk of giving labor in the next 2 weeks), hooked me up to the fetal monitor, and I had two types of ultrasounds.

The thyroid and fetal fibronectin came back negative. On the monitor, the baby's heartbeat was doing fine. I was still having some short, mild, contractions but they are not concerned because I show no other signs of preterm labor. The ultrasounds were good, it was nice to see B2 again - got to see it yawn, it totally has a Daddy/Laura nose, and this baby even has some hair! Also (TMI, sorry) another supposedly good sign is that my cervix is "long" which is also a positive thing in regards to possible preterm labor.

So I have been cleared to return to work for half days, although my principal has been rather hesitant and concerned. She is worried about me and wants continuity for the kids, so I think we are going to discuss it tomorrow and I hope to try working W,Th, and M morning (Friday is a field trip so I will stay home) and see how it goes. My next regular appointment is a week from now. I don't feel in perfect shape, I still tire easily, have to move slow, and have a hard time getting my breath - it is frustrating to not have a label to put on my symptoms, but I am resting easier now that everything at least indicates the baby and myself are doing all right. Lots of people have been checking in and asking after my health, as well as saying a lot of prayers, and that has been appreciated. Thank you!

Nothing Yet

Hi all, I think my mom was directing family to the blog regarding the echocardiogram I had this morning. At any rate, it was a tech that administered the echocardiogram this morning. He said that a cardiologist would read it later today and send the results to my doctor. My doctor next comes in to work on Monday morning, so I really won't know anything until then!

The tech guy said that lots of people come in with the EKG result that I did and it usually turns out to be nothing, so that's reassuring. Will keep this updated when I know more.

This Week Too?!

So I have extended my bedrest that is not really bedrest anymore through this entire week and next Monday. There was a visit to the doctor (scheduled) on Monday and she said she was not comfortable sending me to work until she's ruled out the other potential causes for my symptoms besides "pregnancy." She decided due to my fatigue and breathlessness when I am up and about that some tests should be done to check my heart. I had an EKG at the office that day and it came back with an abnormal result - ventricular hypertrophy. So I have been scheduled for an echocardiogram tomorrow morning to check things out further.

The doctor warned me not to go Googling about this or looking for pregnancy related heart conditions because I would get scared...of course the very next day I thought I would just take a look. Not a good idea! Everything looked scary so I quit googling and went back to reading novels instead. I'm trying not to worry about potential bad things until I know if I have an actual Bad Thing to worry about. Instead I am enjoying the nice weather but am a little jealous when Mike and Laura go on fun walks every day to feed the ducks down by the lake or go to the park.

Just because someday B2 deserves to know some fun facts about when I was pregnant with him/her and not just about the complications...the things I have especially wanted to eat this time around are A) Australian licorice (are you familiar? Only this soft, fat, nubby kind will do - no Twizzlers or anything. I was particularly wanting green apple flavor for whatever reason and it took 1.5 months to find it. I saw it walking out of Cub and got back in line just to purchase it.) and B) Pop. Yum, yum, yum, I could drink multiple cans a day of this bad for you fizzy sweet deliciousness but of course I KNOW it's not good so I try to hold off and have one every few days. It tastes so good.

No More Bedrest, Just Rest!

A quick update on mom and B2:

I saw my doctor yesterday morning. She checked me out and things seem to be fine with me in regards to any kind of preterm labor, and the baby's heartbeat was ok too. She too was puzzled with why I was having the contractions, etc. Her idea was maybe it was a virus that made me feel sick on Sunday and that brought on the contractions. At any rate, she gave me the ok to be up and about on my feet, but did not think it was a good idea to return to school just yet.

I will stay at home just doing my usual routine around here and see how that goes through Monday, and then Monday afternoon I return to the doctor again. I'm guessing at that point I'll be headed back to work. One of my friends pointed out it's like I'm getting two spring breaks! (Although this first one is not very fun or exciting). It feels good to be moving around more but I'm very tired. Yesterday just wiped me out and I get very breathless going from room to room and floor to floor in the house.

I'm personally thinking maybe you could chalk this whole adventure up to the old celebrity excuse "exhaustion" - except in this case exhaustion is not code for "drugs" or "overdose." It seems wimpy because plenty of pregnant women can manage working/kids/husband/house/errands/working out/etc. without needing a week long break, but in this case I must have been pushing myself too hard. And clearly trying to get by on 5 hours of sleep a night is not enough! Good thing B2 decided to let me know.

Baby # 2 is Shaking Things Up!

Hi there, remember me? I used to post on this blog before I completely started neglecting it. The new teaching assignment and constant pregnancy fatigue in combination sort of did me in. I've only been doing essential things like watching tv, eating, and you know, caring for my family.

Poor Baby #2, I've been calling him/her "the neglected one." No blog posts, no monthly belly pics. I'm sorry B2. Just trying to stay afloat here. Anyway B2 must have had enough because yesterday it started making me feel really weird. First sick, then I was having all kinds of cramping and tight heavy pressure across my belly and back. It made me nervous enough to call in. The doctor said it didn't sound like anything serious but I could go in to labor and delivery to get checked out if I didn't feel better after resting.

I was a little nervous so Mike and I went in (I should mention he & his dad were in the midst of installing a new water heater while all this was transpiring). Turns out my instincts were a good thing as I was indeed having contractions. We spent about 4 hours there while I was hooked up to monitors, had some IV fluid and some medication to help my muscles stop contracting. They also have some sort of test where they can tell if you will deliver in the next 2 weeks and thankfully that came back negative.

However my doctor wants me on bed rest for the next 3 days. Sounds good in theory but I can already tell hard in practice! One thing my discharge papers said is to "reduce stress." Pretty sure not being at school will help on that front. So B2 is making him/herself recognized. Everyone commented at the hospital on how great it was doing and how active it was, I felt like a proud mama again already.

Fun Quote of the Day

Today, we were practicing the days of the week. Laura did a pretty good job on her own except for day. Can you find it?

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 2nd grade, Sunday."

Ultrasound Results

This morning was the ultrasound. Aside from the normal attendees (me, mom and Laura), we brought a special guest, Grandma Nells. Since Grandma had not experienced an ultrasound when Scott and I were born, we thought this would be special moment for her to be apart of.

An Uneasy Feeling
I have got to admit the ultrasound is about as nerve-racking as the actual delivery. And it should be. This is a major point in the pregnancy where we find out how the baby is doing, health-wise.

I laid awake last night thinking about the "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios. "Geez, Mom is a little bigger this go-round, are there two kiddos in there? What if the baby has this or missing that or blah, blah, blah.

The Ultrasound
Well, we had a few nervous moments. At one point the nurse announced that she couldn't find a leg. Oh, Geez! Since we are not finding out the sex, she told us to turn around while she looked. Well, some time had passed (too long if you had asked me) and she didn't say anything. I couldn't take it anymore and finally asked, "Did you find it?!?" She responded, "yes." Whew.

Laura and the Ultrasound
Laura had mentioned that she was kind of excited of seeing her baby brother/sister but her body language and attention span said otherwise. The most exciting part (for her) was hearing the heartbeat. Other than that, she was more interested in rubbing my face, drinking juice and concerned what Papa George was doing in the waiting room.

The Results
Everything seems to be normal and on pace. No surprises or cause for concern. We are at 20 weeks and 4 days - on pace for a May 31 due date.